I’ve always been a fan of advice, whether it’s asking for it or being asked to give it. I know plenty of people who seem to feel that asking for advice is somehow taboo, or a sign of weakness.
I’m not one of them.
I’ve also always been very comfortable not following advice having asked for it. Again I know some who may find that rude (“why did you bother asking?”).
There’s two points I want to make here.
The first is that advice is just that, advice. It’s not (or shouldn’t be) an order, or instruction. There should therefore be no obligation to follow it. I regard it as a bit like gathering evidence, before making your own decision.
And here’s the second point, and if I’m really honest the main point of this article. I’ve learnt increasingly over the last number of years that whilst advice is helpful, it should not replace learning your own stuff. It shouldn’t be viewed as a short cut to your own learning.
What’s clear to me is that if you over rely on advice, you miss the richness of learned experience, with all the highs and lows, learnings and mistakes that come from it. Not getting things right first time is how you really learn. And if you really allow yourself to learn, rather than be told / advised, the insight goes deeper. It can be amended, adapted and scaled rather than just followed.
Over-relying on advice also means you limit yourself to the experience and ability of the giver. Whoever they are, they won’t know everything, nor most likely be giving the very best advise, just THEIR best.
FULL DISCLOSURE: I recognise in myself that I used to be someone who would over rely on the advice of others, often assuming their opinion is more valid than mine. I’m pleased to say I’m long since over that now but still value the advice of others.
So, seek advice where appropriate, follow it only if it feels right, but value the rich journey of learning your own stuff.
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